so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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