she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
