i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he shaved USA in his pubs
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize