Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
