No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
