I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
