Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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