his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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