and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
