yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She's the barista slut.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
