i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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