I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
