Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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