That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
