So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
