you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
