Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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