I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
