on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize