Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
