Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
