I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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