: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
