You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
