I'm passing your future prison.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
