I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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