So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize