i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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