I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
3 2 1 whiskey
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
