My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
