He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize