Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize