well I can't set my house on fire every night
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You are the jesus of drinking
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
