I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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