We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
