I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
