if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
