i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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