Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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