So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
