yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
