I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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