i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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