Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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