We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
