K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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