Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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