did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
smell my finger.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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