I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
