you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
