idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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