I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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