So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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