I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This baby is an asshole
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
