remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
