ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
