we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
