ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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