are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
