I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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