i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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