so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
