this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
