Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
