next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
