Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
