Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
whose parrot is this?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
