I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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