Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
