I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize